i know things have to change…but does it have to be now?
Here are some of the titles I thought of for this post.
‘It’s not you, it’s me.’
‘Discombobulated’
‘Where to from here?’
‘Changes changes everywhere’
All of them seemed appropriate. Everything seems to be shifting weight around here. Rolling from the then and moving to the new.
My only problem is that I was really rather happy with the old…and as with most things in my life. I’m rather intimidated by the new.
I’ve been a bit absent from here of late because I’ve been so busy everywhere else.
The Little Bush Princess had a final class concert for her little pre-school class. It was so lovely and so heart wrenching at the same time.
Counting down the days until there would be no more turns on the flying fox.
The last ballet class for the year.
The last day in year three for The Golden Child and Presentation Day that made me cry.
Then the Pre School’s Christmas Party.
On 15th August 2000 I stopped working fulltime a few weeks before our little boy was born. I haven’t returned to the workforce in any real way since then. A bit here and a bit there but nothing much. Now in six weeks time my last little lamb heads off to school. I feel a sense of almost mourning settling over me. There’s a lump in my throat that I can’t hide in my voice any more. It sounds silly, shallow and a bit wrong but I feel like my ‘reason for being’ is running out…shallow I know.
I know change must happen.
I just wish I could stall it for a little while longer.
Just a little while.
I’m not ready yet.
I hear you Jen, I really do. Your post summed up how I have been feeling as I look to next year with a new job away from my babies, knowing that they have been my whole life for the last 12 years. It is scary, and in some ways exciting, but mostly scary. Hopefully we can support each other in some small way, even just knowing that we are both facing a changing lifestyle. You should be very proud of your children - they are fabulous little beings gorgeous in all ways. Take care and remember that I am close by if you need a shoulder. Lyn xoxo
20 Dec 2009 at 8:46 pm
Your “reason for being” is certainly not running out. Those children will always need you to be there for them. Remember, in the years since 2000 you have been forging a very special bond with those beautiful young people. No matter what, it will be permanent.
21 Dec 2009 at 10:10 am
I hear your pain Jen but strangely your kids seem to need you more the older they get but in many different ways- you will grow and develop as they grow and develop- you are amazing xx
22 Dec 2009 at 5:53 pm
Magnifiques enfants !!!
Joyeux Noël !!!! Belle Journée !!! Bisous ?
25 Dec 2009 at 9:02 pm
Oh sorry, there is a (?) after bisous, i wanted to put a heart
It is a big Hug
25 Dec 2009 at 9:03 pm